Puberty doesn't happen overnight—but when it starts, it can feel like it does. For many parents, knowing what to expect and how to talk about it is half the battle.

Dr. Kari Stausmire, Primary Care physician at Halifax Health, who cares for adolescents and families, recommends beginning puberty conversations around age nine, when the first signs of puberty are beginning. "Usually, the first sign we see is the development of hair—underarm and leg hair—before pubic hair. About two years after that, females will typically get their period."

That timeline offers parents a helpful window. “It’s not just about talking when it starts,” Dr. Stausmire explained. “If you begin conversations when your child starts noticing small changes, like hair growth or body odor, they’re more likely to feel safe and confident asking questions when the bigger changes happen.”

She suggests parents watch for these cues, and use them as starting points for honest, age-appropriate conversations.

What to Expect and When

  • Ages 9–11: Body hair, growth spurts, and sometimes early breast development.

  • Ages 11–13: Onset of menstruation, acne, mood swings, and body odor.

  • Ongoing: Puberty can last several years. Expect changes in body shape, sleep patterns, and emotional regulation.

"If you look at how the age mom was when she started her period, the girls will generally follow the same trend," said Dr. Stausmire.

How to Talk About It

  • Be honest and open. Answer questions honestly and at an age-appropriate level when they arise.

  • Use natural moments. If your child notices a product or asks a question, don’t shut them down. Use it to start a conversation.

  • Involve all parents. Dr. Stausmire encourages dads to be part of these talks, too. "It doesn’t always have to be mom. A dad using supportive resources or talking openly can be incredibly meaningful," she said.

Make It a Dialogue, Not a Lecture.

Puberty conversations work best when they’re part of ongoing, open communication—not one big talk. Dr. Stausmire encourages parents to create an environment where curiosity is welcomed, and questions are met with compassion.

“Kids will take their cues from you,” she said. “If you act like these topics are embarrassing or shameful, they’ll internalize that. But if you treat it like any other part of growing up, they’ll feel much more comfortable.”

These conversations aren’t one-and-done. Start small, keep the door open, and build over time.

Above all, lead with empathy, not embarrassment. Puberty can be uncomfortable, but with your support, it doesn’t have to be scary.